Some of you who know me (too) well will know that I have a grandfather who died of Alzheimers, and am also a sort of rabid hypochondriac, and the combination of the two have led me to avoid aluminum whenever possible, since it's been linked to an increased risk of the disease.

You will also know that I sweat rather much for a girl, by which I do not mean I get a little flush during exersize, but that I produce the fluid in quantities which would embarrass a professional football team.

Those of you who are into that kind of thing will know that all working deodorant on the market contains aluminum as an active ingredient, and that rubbing it near your lymph nodes daily concerns me, and should probably concern you, but also that those freaking crystal health food replacements are about as effective as crystal reading would be in preventing perspiration.

So, you will understand how delighted I was to discover Adidas has a new line of aluminum free anti-perspirant! So delighted I actually squealed a little in that aisle of the drug store. You should all go get some. It also smells delicious and is neat looking.

And, I started my day with a 5K fundraiser walk with my mum, which was an excellent way to spend Mother's Day - we didn't race really, it was just early morning chat times, a good view and a chance to see my mum be really proud of something she did.

Once upon a time when things were really hard, Laura came at me with the reminder that I don't need to think so far ahead - I only need to do what it takes to survive this second, really. That's all I have to worry about. Anything more is overwhelming and unnecessary - I can handle one more second though, no matter how bad things are.

Things aren't quite as hard, now, I hope, for either of us - we're out of that level of triage, maybe, at least a little. And today I came across the phrase "Just do the next right thing". It seems like a good bit to graduate onto. There's a lot I can't control right now, there's a lot I should not try to control - there are a lot of things I hope for, ache for, wish for, doubt, fear and wonder about. There are a lot of places that seem impossible to get to, a lot of stuff I don't think I will ever know, a lot of things I am not certain about and do not know how to decide. I can't make any of this happen, wholesale. I can't, if I'm honest, really make any of it happen at all. I can only do the next right thing. And that sounds like something I can handle.

(Also, I found a bag of mini-eggs in my brother's room today, looking for a memory card for my digital camera that he bought me before he left. I like mini-eggs, and I like my camera and I like that I'm going to be using it in Quebec soon, and I like that I'm a little scared by that, but mostly I like my family, adopted and not, quite a lot.)